Sunday, 1 February 2015

7-wonders-world

They say that there are seven wonders of the world. I disagree. I think there is eight. Where is the 8th one located, you ask? I have your answer. The answer is in my feet. For inexplicable reasons, I have an abnormal difference between my big toe and second toe.
My big toe is extremely larger than my second toe. That is not the oddest part. The oddest part is the gap that I have between my big toe and second toe. The gap is literally big enough to fit a 6th toe. It's not just like this on one of my feet - it's on both feet. It's quite amazing to look at, I must say. I occasionally joke around and tell people that I once had six toes. They laugh and chuckle, but then they look down at my toes and are like "Whoa, you weren't kidding, were you?"

There may be other individuals with a larger gap and difference between their big toe and second toe, but I have yet to meet that person. I'm not even sure that person exists. If you do exist, then please contact me. We could totally start some kind of "big-toe-gap meet-up group" or something.

I must admit that it is a special feeling being a little different than everybody else. But, folks, it is not all that glamorous. When you have toes like me, it is unbelievably hard to find the right shoes. If I find a shoe that fits my big toe perfectly, then it ends up being way too big on my other four toes. If I find a shoe that fits my other four toes perfectly, then it ends up being way too snug for my big toe. Life is not easy having weird toes! I speak from experience.

The other disadvantage of having such a large toe with a big gap, is it can often be utilized as a handle for other people. For instance, I was playing tackle football the other day with some friends. I was playing barefoot, as I believe my speed increases when I am barefoot . . . I run like the wind when I am barefoot! However, somehow, some way, somebody was able to catch me. He dove onto the ground and stretched out his arm. I was just about to score a touchdown, but then, BAM, I was stopped! This man had wrapped his whole hand around one of my big toes and yanked me to the ground. Dang, if only I had normal toes like everybody else. If my toe wasn't so big, with such a big gap, then this man would not have been able to molest my big toe like he did. Thus, I would've scored the game winning touchdown in a recreational football game that nobody cared about.

Despite the disadvantages, I still carry on with life. I keep my head up held high. I am proud of my toes. I mean, seriously, how many other people can fit a tennis ball between their toes like I can?

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